17 Jul 2015

life with two

As you may have guessed, I seldom find time to update on here the stories of life and new motherhood of two boys - what a constant, intense, satisfying (and sometimes unsatisfying), beautiful occupation it is! Truthfully, most of the time I am happy to just pause (without camera lens or pen and paper) and soak into my soul the scenes of juggling, mess and mayhem, of everyday goodness; like my three year old leaning in to kiss his baby brother - who when he hears his big brother's voice - will smile and coo wildly. The love between them is vast and I feel teary at the ease with which his big brother especially - has adjusted to life with a sibling. At the same time I feel a twinge of lament that I documented his first year of life so clearly, month-by-month - compared to his little brother - because it’s true, you do forget so many things…

Our Beren is now fourteen weeks old, and oh! he is so far a calm, pensive and cuddly soul...
He is very chatty, and will for ten or twenty minutes at a time - look into your eyes and "talk" to you with eyebrows raised,
He is mostly happy to put himself to sleep
He loves watching his brother playing/talking/whinging/reading and will beam with glee
He gives little chuckles when you blow raspberries on his tummy
He likes to be warm, and does not like cold hands changing him
He makes those lovely sighs when sleeping,
He nurses with gusto, sometimes too quickly,
His legs are deliciously chubby, so far he's in the 90th percentile for weight!
He has been on so many more car trips than his brother did at this age and for the most part likes the car seat, as long as we're moving... 
He is muscular and robust - those big hands, such a strong neck, we're certain he'll be helping us around the farm in no time,
He likes being worn - in woven wraps and carriers (probably because it keeps him so warm)
He has been to farmers markets, up windswept hills, and on a plane to Sydney,
He has been introduced to chickens,
He has had to learn the art of waiting, and is mostly so very patient - 
He doesn't get very many baths, but always smells so milky pure,
Despite everyone always saying how much he looks exactly like Reu - he is distinctly his own person - his face is more oval, eyes bluer, his hair darker -
He smiles often, and especially after feeds - those contented, love drunk smiles are my favourite.

I think you assume because you have had a baby before, that it will be easier the second time - and in many ways it has been, well - maybe not easier, but certainly more relaxed. My initial fears of managing two little ones - of getting organised to go places - of keeping healthy - of getting wholesome meals together - and keeping on top of the chores - have mellowed into a kind of peacefulness - an acceptance to take each day as it comes... let my fears be known... set limits... ask for help... expect every task to take longer... prioritise what's most important... be okay with imperfections... take sleep in increments... give more hugs... try to go for a walk every day... pray... 

I am no perfect mother to my boys, but I am theirs. And they are mine. 

7 comments:

  1. I've just given birth to my fourth son, and one thing I know for sure, is that I don't feel any more confident in mothering a newborn the 4th time round. It's like relearning all over again! I wouldn't change it for anything, though!

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  2. You are one of my favorite souls. You're doing great work.

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  3. Beautifully put Emily. I love seeing photos of your boys and they do look so much alike though I also see you little one's distinctive features. It warms my heart that you can already see the love between the two of them. xx

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  4. Beautiful post and pictures. I can't believe how big he is already. And I totally agree with what you say about wanting to soak it all in and yet feeling a twinge of guilt and regret about not documenting their lives as much as their older siblings. You're doing beautifully, have a lovely weekend xxx

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  5. As alwaaaaaaaa


    As always, so beautifully put! Thankyou for these lovely, loving, lovable shots. They are alike and yet distinctly special. Blessings on doing so well.


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  6. You've brought back many memories with this post. The bond between siblings is precious :)

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  7. You are a wonderful mother. Your boys are lucky. <3

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