13 Feb 2013

Shrove Tuesday

Oh yes, this morning we all ate pancakes - the babe with his sneakily packed with grated carrot and zucchini, and ours dressed with salted caramel, blueberries and greek yoghurt, lemon juice - a last hurrah before we fast from sweet delights for the forty-six days of Lent which start tomorrow. I have always found this to be the most special time of year - one of prayerfulness and contemplation, intentional living and lovingkindness, and all the while celebrating afresh the gift of Grace - His coming, and going, and returning.

I have made a couple of commitments for the Lenten period this year;
- to read the Living Word every day and to make note of phrases or image that arise from it,
- to pause in prayer as often as I can
- to abstain from sweet treats
- (and by far the hardest one for me) to have computer and internet free hours each day, with a complete rest from it on Wednesday and Sunday.

I have been struggling, you see, with the computer. Time is passed searching the internet, pinning pretty things or finding inspiring recipes, trawling through blogs, or working on my own, reading facebook updates, or media articles, refreshing emails - and often feeling empty and depleted afterwards... especially when I do it around Reu who almost always gets frustrated and irritable that he can't touch the keyboard. Its also knowing that I am idling away valuable minutes that could better be spent bonding with my child, walking somewhere interesting, making, listening, embracing my neighbourhood, practicing french... That is not to say I do not love the beauty and friendship, connection and dialogue the internet brings! I do get so much out of glimpsing the lives and experiences of my friends and kindred strangers - and I think its so important to be inspired by fresh ideas; its just lately I have felt like I am unable to step back from here even when I need to - and so my hope is that by structuring in deliberate rest times, that healthy breathing space between my eyes and the screen will return.

That and,
the voice of my Lord is not loud,
nor is it tyrannical, or even competitive for my ears -
rather, it is sure and constant and soft,
it asks for very little -
except my heart, open,
and a willingness
to sit still and listen.

This lent, I commit my whole self to know afresh the small voice of my greatest Love -
to rest, to create, to unfurl in my soul as the wee blue irises do in our winter garden -

Little promises of the Spring to come... 

10 comments:

  1. I have been having problems with the internet as well. I reactivated facebook because I missed being able to post blog updates there, but it may have been a mistake. My concentration is so shot, lately. I know it's partly the emotions Tim and I are working through, partly external stress (school, work, tenants, Simpkin, family, the combination thereof)--but wasting such vast amounts of time isn't helping, is making it much worse for me. I haven't been writing as much, haven't even been knitting. Shutting my laptop in the middle of the day is often embarrassingly hard.

    All this to say, I need to put some restrictions in place too. For now, I should go work on my essay . . .

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  2. Oh thank you thank you thank you sweet Emily for these words!!! I too feel so depleted and grumpy after finding that I have wasted hours away on the computer, with my little one vying for my attention. I HATE the computer and yet it is so easy to find an hour here, and hour there has slipped past pinning and browsing. I will join you in giving up the computer on Wed & Sun, and having hours free in the day. Thanks.
    I LOVE this drawing, will you be putting copies in your Etsy shop? I would like to hang it in my house.

    Mim
    PS When do you return to Sydney?

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  3. they all sound like nice ideas. I definitely need to get my computer time under control! Are you Catholic? Have a blessed lent :)

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  4. Thank you for always speaking the words of my heart.
    I always feel an emptiness when I spend too much on the net too.
    What great aims and intentions you have set for this sacred time.

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  5. I love your blog!...I printed out your poem...the voice of my Lord...and have it at my desk...a gentle reminder for me...thanks to you!

    ~Have a lovely day!

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  6. I love your lent goals..
    I think the computer is so easy to waste our time on!

    I pray you'll get closer to our Lord as you take a rest from it!

    Lovel, lovely photos dearest Em!

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  7. Internet addiction - I'm hearing you!

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  8. Loved this post! :)
    That is a beautiful verse about the Lord. Is it your own creation?

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  9. Sweet Emily- you have such a beautiful and tender heart. I hope you find your much needed rest!
    It is so hard not to get sucked into the internet. I was telling Dan the other day that I've thought of taking a 3 month break from it all. I sometimes no longer feel like my voice and my art are my own. There is so much beauty, so much inspiration, to be uncovered. But sometimes in the sheer overwhelming amount of it all, we wind up losing ourselves. My prayer is for you to seek Him and be able to return to your true self this season :) Much love to you! xo

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  10. Beautiful.
    A post full of peaceful praise.

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